Healing A Broken Heart
I began this body of artwork after undergoing emergency life saving open heart surgery in 2022 to replace my mitral valve, fixing a previously unknown heart condition which had deteriorated quickly. Since then, the recovery has been slow, with several complications requiring more hospitalisation. The discovery that another valve developed a severe leak after the surgery, brought disappointment, fear and uncertainty about the future.
However, having already walked a long healing journey of the heart, I was able to draw on the strength and resilience I had gained over the years and remind myself of the treasures I have discovered.
After experiencing tragedy 25 years ago, when my six-year-old son died, I felt as though my heart was shattered, and knew I would never be the same. After a while, to my surprise I discovered it was still possible to find joy and beauty in the smallest of things. These small wonders became treasures for me which I have stored in my heart and continue to do so as a way of healing.
Seeing beauty in a shell on the beach and observing with interest the shapes and textures of it. Watching sunlight filtering through green leaves and hearing a beautiful bird song brought a connection to life around me and was a soothing balm for my aching heart. Opening my eyes and heart to the beauty and kindness in people and feeling gratitude in the simple blessings of life such as a hot shower or food to eat.
Recent studies are now showing that oxytocin, the love hormone, actually causes physical healing in the heart, so I have become more aware of the benefits of love and connection in relation to my own heart condition.
The lion in my painting symbolises bravery, in surviving life and death situations but I also believe it takes courage to keep your heart open and soft when it’s in pain and wants to close and become bitter.
There are plenty of hurting people in the world, in fact not many of us escape pain and suffering at some point, and my hope is that my healing journey will help encourage someone else going through a hard time. To remember that life can still be beautiful in the midst of all of this and filled with joy, even if it’s different to what you imagined it would be. It might even be better.
My inspiration for the gold-filled cracks in the heart paintings come from the Japanese art of Kintsugi. An art form that repairs broken pottery with gold, rendering a new piece that is more exquisite than it was before the break. It literally means to join with gold.
“The story of kintsugi—this style of pottery—may be the most perfect embodiment of all our trauma-shattered lives... Instead of throwing away the broken beloved pottery, we’ll fix it in a way that doesn’t pretend it hasn’t been broken but honours the breaking—and more so, the surviving—by highlighting those repaired seams with gold lacquer. Now the object is functional once again and dignified, not discarded. It’s stronger and even more valuable because of its reinforced, golden scars.” Jay Wolf. (Author of Suffer Strong)
